Monday, March 8, 2010

"Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch". Anonymous

Well, not really all that anonymous. Heard this quote on Oscar night during a commercial for "Remember Me", a new movie due to be released later this month. "Googled" it, the quote that is, and while I couldn't find an author, I did learn it's been around awhile, meaning, prior to Remember Me's arrival on the scene.

It struck me as one of those quotes that says a whole lot in very, little time. It's to the point, heartfelt and authentic, because it's so true. Once we've touched someone's life or have been touched by theirs, they're ain't no goin' back. Sadly, and I don't mean to burst anyone's bubble; okay, well, maybe just a little, but not every fingerprint that touches our life is necessarily, from the get-go, positive. Sometimes, the most harsh of fingerprints leaves an indelible mark and then it's up to us as to whether or not we allow it to scar.

By now, I'm thinkin' it's quite obvious I'm not someone who chooses to focus on the negative; however, tough, heavy-handed fingerprints, by my estimation, have the ability to bring more meaning and joy to our life than soft, gentle ones, because they require us to examine them more deeply.

Emotionally, physically or sexually abusive environments; loss of a loved one; discrimination or prejudice based on gender, race or sexual orientation and alcohol and or drug dependent family members, friends or significant others to name a few. Our relationships with these types of environments in addition to a variety of others, help shape who we are in the world as well as make the soft, gentle fingerprints all the more special. The ying and yang of life. Kinda hard to know the good from bad, unless we've experienced both.

I've done my fair share of looking at my life, and I did it even though I didn't even know I was doing it. Sounds weird, I know, but somewhere along the way while doing a bit of professional therapy and a whole lot of self-help reading and self-examination, I had an epiphany. I'm in charge and not only am I in charge now, but I was in charge the entire time, but I just wasn't aware of it.

I finally realized I was living life as a victim. I was surviving instead of persevering - big difference.

People always ask me where I get my energy and why am I always so happy. Well, for starters, I'm not ALWAYS happy; I'm human and there are some things in life we have no control over other than how we respond to them, and I usually respond to them by venting, well, okay, talking everyone's ear off so I guess it would be more like purging than venting seeing as how it usually finds its way to the surface rather vomitously; however, it is by way of having the ability to freely express what I'm going through that allows me to be happy and full of energy. Holding-in and holding-back, to me, are toxic physically, psychologically and spiritually.

Which brings me to Disneyland. Sounds like a big twist and turn, I'm sure, but listen' up knowing as a Southern California resident living within twenty minutes or so of Disneyland, I take my life in my hands when I say, Disneyland scares me.

And, no, it's not any of the rides or the ridiculous cost of admission and food and drink once inside the park, but the "Happiest Place on Earth" philosophy. What they're selling is a world free from imperfection and while I understand escapism, I know from experience, there are those who want and believe their lives are supposed to be THAT perfect, but there's no such thing. What they're selling is illusionary and illusionary doesn't equate to authentic.

In real life, trash cans overflow, paint chips, people get sick, people die, people hurt one another, war exists, babies are born, families flourish, the sun shines and the grass grows and that, to me, is perfection believing the Earth would truly be the happiest place if everyone's happiest place was within their own heart and mind.