Sunday, March 7, 2010

(In honor of her Life Time Achievement Oscar this year, I'm re-posting one of my favorite quotes) "In order to survive something, we've had to have been a victim. I prefer to think of myself as someone who has persevered". Lauren Bacall

So, why?, Why is this one of my favorite quotes? Because it's truthful and empowering. Life is filled with ups and downs, great moments, harsh moments - many of them out of our control other than how we respond to them. It's about a mindset. How we choose to see the world. Where we come from on the inside. It's about aligning our spirit and soul into something that's positive and life-affirming.

To be a victim, we must feel less powerful. Feel as though the situation is not in our hands leading to, I believe, a life without passion and joy. Placing our emotional, psychological and spiritual self into the hands of others or the world at large is a way to avoid self-love and sadly, not loving one's self accounts for so much pain and suffering in individual lives culminating in more pain and suffering in the world.

To be a victim, means staying in a relationship or situation that is unhealthy or unsafe whether that be physically, mentally or psychologically. Truly, the healthiest thing we can do is to walk away; however, many of us think staying in the game is the way to go to keep others from getting the best of us. We think leaving makes us look like a quitter, but in reality, by staying, they ARE getting the best of us and to that end, we are a quitter, because we're quitting on ourselves assuring we create a situation where the best of us is unable to shine.

If we're caught up in an environment that leaves us feeling drained, put-upon, hurting, sad, depressed, fearful or anxious, we're allowing ourselves the opportunity to keep from doing and getting where our heart tells us it wants to go. A lovely form of self-sabotage.

To persevere, means we admit to and feel life for all its highs and lows. We understand it will be filled with joyful as well as difficult times. We realize life is ever moving and ever changing as we head forward with a confidence and strength while still recognizing and acknowledging this task may not come easily. It also puts us in charge and personally, I have found people who are in charge of their lives to be the most happy, fulfilled and healthiest both mentally and physically.

Driver's seat. To persevere puts us in the driver's seat as we journey through life seeking love, fulfillment and validation; yes, there will be twists and turns, stops and starts but with our own hands on the wheel and a foot on the pedal, it's up to us to steer and maybe even slam on the brakes.

To be behind the wheel, in charge of one's own destiny, requires self-love and approval and surprisingly enough, once we gain this insight and acceptance, the world becomes a completely different place. To love and approve of one's self, leads to love and approval of others making our own world just a little bit better as well as taking a stab at making the entire world a bit more loving and approving so thank you, Ms. Bacall, for sharing your insight and love.