Tuesday, March 9, 2010

"If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is... it's not enough". Ann Landers

Boy, ain't this the truth. Didn't know it; didn't believe it. Thought for a long time, it was all about giving and not receiving. Well, okay, that's a lie. I would give saying I didn't need to receive when what I really wanted was the opposite. Growing up, it appeared to me sacrificing love from others and turning one's cheek was the norm. The older I became started to believe not so much so. It took me a long time to realize what works best in the world is to give love freely with no expectations and then, like magic, it comes back to you. This doesn't mean we allow ourselves to be treated like crap by others, however, it means we come to an awareness of how love and respect for self leads to love and respect for others.

The hard part is coming to terms with loving one's self first; it's true what they say in that we can't love others until we love ourselves. For me, and I think for many others, the thought of loving one's self is foreign. It sounds selfish and conceited; however, it's quite the contrary. If we can get close to our own heart; our own feelings accessing them and understanding what makes us tick - what makes us human, we have a better chance of understanding the feelings and hearts of others connecting to their humanity and in doing so, find, create and, hopefully, maintain loving, supportive relationships.

It's a choice, really, to decide how we want to live our lives. How we want to feel each and every morning when we wake up.

Pretty much, there are two types of people in the world. Givers and takers. If you're a giver, who lacks love for self, you're more than likely surrounded by a bunch of takers who, in the long run, wear you down. Personally, waking up every morning with the heavy weight of others on your back is life shortening.

If and when we arrive at a more self-loving place, it doesn't mean we have scorn, ridicule, blame and contempt for the taker(s) for having done whatever it is they did to us because that would mean we were living life as a victim and not holding ourselves accountable for our own actions; it means we accept the fact that everyone arrives at different places within their own growth and development at different times in their lives because why? We have, along the way, learned to be forgiving and understanding within our own selves for not knowing what we didn't know at the time providing; therefore, the setting and showing the example of how love, forgiveness and understanding for self nourishes our ability to do the same for others.

In theory, sounds simple; however, the journey to self-love for me, at least, has not been an easy one and there are days I fall off the wagon, so to speak, but now that I have love in my life from true friends who nurture, love, encourage and support me, I'm able to get right back up there and move on and when they hit a bump in the road, I respond in kind.

It's really quite joyous knowing I'm loved.