Friday, January 14th, 2010

"I can be very polite, but I've found that doesn't always get a result. You have got to bang and thump tables". Joy Baluch

This quote reminded me of my three-strike rule. What?, you ask, is the three-strike rule?

Well, it's like this. I used to be a people pleaser, meaning, I did anything and everything for others. I didn't love and nurture myself enough to say no. I was needy with the self-esteem of a gnat so, behaviorally speaking, I became a door mat. Ultimately, this was a bad decision on my part and because it hadn't been a conscious, legitimate, well-informed choice, it was a tough behavior to break and not only because it had become solidified behavior but, also, on the inside, I was born a nurturing and caring person so there was this twitchy, little thing that happened when I tried to say the word, "no". A struggle between the forces of good and evil. "Yes, good; no, bad".

I mean, really, thinking of myself first was so against who I had taught myself to be, you would've thought I had a speech impediment or something with my mouth and tongue all twisted together like they were one as I tried to change the "yes" coming out of my mouth into a "no".

Since having the three-strike rule in place; however, if I say yes when I really would rather say no, nowadays, my teeth just feel a little fuzzy.

Three strike rule. First, I am in no way a sports enthusiast. Not that sports are a bad thing - they're just not my thing. I like physical exercise to the point of having completed 4 marathons along with a slew of half-marathons with a few 5ks and 10ks here and there just for fun as well as teaching and doing yoga.

Inasmuch as I am not a sports person, I have, however, borrowed the three strikes and you're out rule from baseball when it comes to monitoring my behavior as related to how I let people treat me. Having done so, resulted in my ability to be a much better person, overall, to Larry.

Here's the way I see it. You do treat me like crap once, and I turn the other way. Could be you're just having a bad day or something in your life is stressing you out or weighing you down. Treat me like crap, in the same way, a second time and now my ears are perked up. Could be you're still involved in some sort of learning curve, and assuming I care about you enough, will engage you in a conversation for investigative purposes. You treat me like crap the third time, and you're' OUT - I'm done because, by my estimation, your behavior is chronic and patterned so it's time for you to go buh-to-the-bye BYE BYE!

And that's not to say I've totally shut the door on you but if I do choose to open it again, the door will be opened slowly with the chain guard on.